This Is Bigger than You or Me
Written by Soundarya Kanthi
In our last article, we talked about why Black Lives Matter. We believe the next step of the journey lies in mindset. What do you do when you come across information that challenges your beliefs or even more: challenges YOU?
Let’s start by understanding that Black Lives Matter is a cause larger than you or me. Your mental, financial, physical, interpersonal, etc. struggles are still painful; this movement does not exist to invalidate you. It just means that when you notice that something is wrong with the way our nation treats Black people and you want to do something about it, your personal problems as a non-Black person do not belong in that space. Black Lives Matter is an alarm that has been ringing for hundreds of years, and after the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s, we are choosing to pay attention to the alarm once again this year. Eliminating anti-Black racism should not be the sole responsibility of Black people. According to the Merrimack Webster dictionary, an ally is a person or group that provides assistance and support in an ongoing effort, activity, or struggle. Hence, the only way, as a non-Black person, that you can show support is to focus on the cause and not yourself (unless it is in service to the cause). This is a cause that is larger than you or me.
Individually, this can be a hard concept to practice, and we do not judge you for it. Western culture doesn’t exactly do a great job of instilling the value of humility. Growing up, our school system taught us that when we’re right, we get ahead in life. When we’re wrong, the good colleges, the right job, the high pay all slips away from us. So, of course we strive to prove that we’re the “right ones.” Thus, our egos are fed again and again. And then, it becomes hard for us to grow. Growing inherently means we have to go through the process of letting go of inaccurate or insufficient thoughts in favor of more complete and accurate thoughts. Even though it might have been difficult to foster a sense of humility in ourselves when we were younger, we can do so now. It is crucial that we drop our ego in order to be effective allies of the BLM movement.
As you continue to learn and have conversations within your social circles about anti-racism, someone might point out that something that you said is rooted in racism towards Black people. This is where ego will probably come in. Your first instinct when your ego is bruised might be to defend your logic or intention. “Oh no, I meant XYZ. I really meant it in a positive way” -- sound familiar? Most people intend to be good human beings. It’s great that you intended to be helpful, but what’s even more important is noticing how your words or actions impacted Black people and the race narrative. Your mind might rush to protect you or defend you, but notice this internal process. Pause it and listen anyway. Recall that your role is to maintain a service-orientation towards the cause. This means going in with the assumption that you don’t know how to help and educating yourself to understand how you can help. Know that every Black person is different, and developing a nuanced understanding of your impact will take time. There’s a big difference between your intention and your impact.
As a non-Black individual, there is no way you will always know what is the most appropriate way to approach BLM issues. You did not navigate the world as a Black person, so it only makes sense that you will slip up. Your responsibility there is to go back and understand why what you said was insensitive. Then, incorporate this new piece of information into your understanding of anti-racism. As awkward as it feels to admit that you’re wrong, this learning behavior means that you are moving the needle towards justice. Instead of thinking of yourself as a good person or bad person, a racist person or a non-racist person, try to think of yourself as a learner. Learning how to persist past your own ego will help you become a better ally. Growth occurs along a continuum, where every day, we get better at supporting the Black Lives Matter movement.
As we are huge fans of practicality, we broke down some concrete suggestions for you.
Seek out credible sources to learn more about the plight of Black people, especially those that are written by Black authors.
This knowledge will arm you to act in support of the BLM movement. Your positive intentions will be supported with an ability to make a positive impact.
Introduction Resources on Allyship and Listening:
As you digest content about racial injustice, notice how you react when you’re approached with information you don’t initially agree with or understand.
Do you feel embarrassed? Stupid? Defensive? Angry?
You’re not a bad person for feeling the way you feel.
(1) Notice what you feel,
(2) take a deep breath,
(3) take time to reflect if you need to. When you’re ready, come back with the question of: how can I better understand the impact of what I think/say/feel and how can I position myself to impact others more positively?
Next time, we’ll be talking about the importance of recognizing and challenging your own racial biases. Stay tuned!